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Thursday, 05 June 2008

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Thursday, 27 December 2007

20

as i look back in this life of mine... well there is really not much to say. i still feel like I'm a kid. One who doesn't a have a care in the world. man life is fast. from time to time i stare at myself in the mirror reminiscing about all things that person in the mirror has gone through...the joys of life, the heartaches of life... the sadness in life. of all the things i can speak for, nothing can prevent the inevitable. my humanity..... of all the things that i have experienced, of all the things i have enjoyed, of the things i have suffered for...they cannot and will not phase the impact of what God IS in my life. though i feel the weight of my sin and sins of the past....i also feel the freedom i have in Christs' blood on the cross. now i come to the theme of all of this......my heart......... i cannot attest to my own accomplishments, for they are nullity before the all mighty God. God in my twenty years of life i cannot boast in ANYTHING! i have existed this long with emptiness as a trophy. though i rejoice at all you marvelous blessings on me i cannot bear any good gift, for i feel my sin over comes your goodness. and though at times i can receive them, i am reminded of how much i don't want the gifts you give me God! i want you! the material goodness of this world cannot satisfy my thirst for you! i toss and turn feeling the emptiness of my life. i look for too much from people! my heart grows weary and tainted for Satan has truly tampered with it. i feel defenseless against evil. my heart yearns for you of God! bless me with your goodness, quench my thirst for YOU! that i may serve you and your people. i feel the weight of my cross as i serve and represent you God, but i will never let you go. never. i will cling to your promises and assurances and to Jesus Christ my Savior who died for me. i do not pray for a new year resolution. but a change in my life. which to truly be a servant to YOU, then to my family, then to my best friends, to my friends, and to those whose path you choose that i cross. may i share you to them, may i represent you. i desire for them to yearn and beg you for a taste of your glory that they to will change their lives to serve and worship you as i pray and beg you that i to will have that desire. 20 years and counting....i don't know when my time is done God, but i pray when it is all said and done that you can tell me "well done my good and faithful servant". In Jesus name, Amen.

-buzz

Wednesday, 08 August 2007

no title just life

life is tough. isn't it? not even mentioning ones spiritual life, everyone has some kind of weight on their shoulders. ya, your probably thinking "i already knew that" well even on top of all of our personal, physical, mental, or whatever part of your life, the spiritual part is that one usually the one that takes the pounding. i'm not even talking about reading ones bible or even praying necessarily, i mean one spiritual life in the sense of you and God. analyze that. seriously straight up think about you and God. just you and HIM. no family, work, or whatever problems in the middle, just you and God. i see myself as a unworthy slob that should even be affiliated with a Holy God. i think its easy for one to not think about there relationship with God, actually a part of me believes that most people like to make up whats in between them and God as a front. it's easy to do, so why not do it right? LAZY! is what i say. it makes me sad to see that this is the way we all turned out to be, sad, really i love you all but this phase that one would go through at this time in the their life, its has to stop. Eh, easy to to turn the other cheek and say one thing but do another. Sad logic, sad reasoning, sad relationships, o ya and finally SAD LIFE! thats what one has to look forward to. sins tends to hide in things AND YA! it can make you happy! no doubt! no doubt in my mind sin can satisfy that lust of pride, greed, or power. but after those couple of seconds of "glory" is over, what else is there? is that all you got? a friend/brother in Christ can only do so much, i'm tired and i wanna give up. But i'm not gonna give up. Because Christ didn't give up on me. i will always be here for you all pointing you to Christ reminding you of what He's done and i also will keep on praying these things i am and will continue to do for the glory of my God, whether one would like it or not.

Monday, 22 January 2007

love this song, click play in my heading area

Saturday, 13 January 2007

frustrations of the world...what's new. i see that sin's role in my life plays a big role and my sin seems so much bigger, go figure...i gotta sit, wait...be patient... i see i lacked that a lot of that last year...put your trust on on Christ and his work on the cross...(breathe in)... (breathe out)...that's better... i wonder how long 'til the the next negsative thing arrives at my doorstep... let's wait and see...
-brian